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SUGGESTED TOPIC: How To Keep The Spark Alive In A Long Distance Relationship

How can you succeed in a long-distance relationship? It helps a lot if the separation is finite – you know you will (or could) live in the same place at some future date. If you do decide to try and make it work, there are key strategies that are fairly obvious:
  • open and frequent communication
  • honesty
  • trust
  • sharing information about your separate lives
  • visiting whenever possible
Keep your libido topped up.

Stop having sex, and you'll stop wanting sex. The more you masturbate when your partner's gone, the more you'll feel like having sex when you're together. Regular orgasms also keep your genitals lubricated and elastic—which means you won't get sore when you're suddenly thrust (literally) into the sex marathon that usually happens when you finally do see each other.

Synching Up Porn

You can find porn that is relationship-oriented, appealing to both men and women. Watch it on your laptops at the same time while on your cell phones.

What if you want to talk dirty, but you feel too shy to do it "live"?
Write out a sexy scenario, borrow one from a magazine or find a sexy passage in a saucy book. Then call your guy's cell phone when you know he won't pick up and read it out loud as a voicemail. You could also write a sexy e-mail, text or IM. Or, if you're feeling extra-brave, try calling him at work when he can't answer back and tell him (in a stress-free one or two sentences) exactly what you've been up to that day... that is to say, lying around in lingerie (naturally)... but then hang up. Remember: Men are very visual.

Feeling a little exhibitionistic?

Check out Web cams. Google "Web cam sex," and you'll see that there are loads of sites where you can make your own porn—live. Now, I'd strongly suggest that you be very, very careful with this one. What I'm suggesting is more a sneak preview than an I-can-see-what-you-had-for-breakfast type of porn. Just join the site, set up the Web cam, send a sexy text message to your partner to link him to the site and then give him the shock of his life when he sees you on screen. You don't have to do much other than sit on the bed, look sexy (pretend you're not aware the camera is on), then get up and take your top off to reveal a sexy push-up bra. It's up to his imagination where you've gone (a cold shower or solo sex). The thrill is simply seeing a "good girl" like you in such a "naughty" environment. You could probably sit there knitting if you wanted to! (I bet you won't want to though: Exhibitionism and voyeurism are the main themes in 80 percent of sexual fantasies.)

Internet Sex Toys

Sounds like the technology has a way to go here, but there are devices that communicate through software online.The most popular combination is the Interactive Fleshlight for him and the Sinulator (rabbit vibrator) for her. When he manipulates the Fleshlight, she feels it in her vibrator. It currently requires interacting with a goofy dashboard on your computer, but the whole field of teledildonics (ridiculous word, I know) is growing rapidly.

Skype Sex

This is the biggie, as far as I’m concerned. Talk dirty face to face. Use the webcam and your imagination to turn your partner (and yourself) on.

Cell Phone

Debby Herbenick, blogger at has a great article on how to have great phone sex. She also has a recent post on how the new iphone 3GS will revolutionize phone sex.

Send photos. You can send a progression of pics in real time as you get aroused, and of course they can be viewed again later when you’re not in touch.

Dirty texting. Always fun, especially at times when it’s not safe! This is a great way to build anticipation for later.

Vibrator. There’s a new iphone app from that turns the iphone into a vibrator. The vibrations are not very strong, but the developers’ intent is that you’ll use it slyly while on the subway, in line at Starbucks, etc. (Seriously, this might require an ample supply of Purell, ew.)

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Obviously, none of these approaches are limited to long-distance couples. If it intrigues you, try it out.


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